tryingitall: (wingies)
Character Information:
Application for the Tartarus Experiment
Application for Cape Kore

Permissions for what can be done to him.
Permissions for what he can do to others.
I welcome questions and PMs, if anything isn't clear!

How's my Driving?

IC Contact Post

Additional ramblings on headcanon can be found HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE, because I talk too much.

Shipping and smut permissions/preferences may be found here.
tryingitall: (despair)
Heaven is sick. Balthazar thinks, in retrospect, he's probably known that for a very long time. Maybe he felt the change in the aether even as it began, and just didn't want to acknowledge it until now. It must have started with Lucifer's Fall, he thinks. The Host was designed as a unit, all brothers and sisters, from the archangels down to the littlest cherub. Once one was lost, maybe it was just a matter of time before others started to collapse like dominoes.

He didn't know any of the archangels well, of course. No one of his rank knew them well, and Balthazar was by and large not very distinctive in the early days of Paradise. He didn't know Lucifer, then, though he mourned his Fall in quiet horror. Gabriel he was able to grieve for more openly; he may have been disloyal, a deserter of his post, but he hadn't rebelled, and that was an important distinction. He didn't know Gabriel that well, either, but he missed him.

Anna's departure was what really hit home. She was his leader; he trusted her, loved her, fought by her side, and watched the Earth turn for millennia. When she was stationed on the Earth, though, he remained in Heaven, guarding and tending the arsenal. In retrospect, he wonders if things would have been different if she'd had more backup. He used to be able to make her laugh. Maybe just that would have made a difference.

All he knows now is, when he saw her Grace streak across the sky, he knew she was dead. If she survived the separation and Fall, she would be hunted, and sooner or later she would be caught.

Damned if he wasn't right. It seems it's only the prelude to things just as bad or worse, too. Castiel is gone, too. Something detonated in the back of Balthazar's head when he heard that news. Castiel was his best friend. He could have mourned him and held firm; he could have mourned Anna and held firm. With both of them lost, he feels like he's got nothing left to hold onto.

Anna may become aware, in her cell in Heaven's prison, of a series of explosions that rock the Axis Mundi. Heavenly weapons, shattering beneath a ringing blast from the shofar that broke Jericho's walls. The guards around her run to see what's happening, leaving her alone in her cell, in this place of cruel and violent light. A moment later, there's a flutter of wings, and Balthazar appears on the opposite side of the bars. There's dark fabric tangled around him; possibly some sort of blessed weapon he stole from the very arsenals that just went up in ethereal flame. It would take that sort of advantage for a low-level angel to slip in here.

"Anna?" He calls softly, placing his hands on the bars. "Sister. Are you hurt?" It's a dumb question, because he's not sure he can get her out whether she's hurt or not. Still, he wants to know.
tryingitall: (glow)
Balthazar is born, with a clutch of a few thousand other winged siblings, around the same time the first multicellular organisms begin swimming in the Earth's primordial sea. A new type of angel, more delicate than multi-winged seraphim, not quite as flashy as a cherub, and tinier by far than the four Archangels. Ofanim, they're called, the Wheels, and they Never. Stop. Moving.

It wouldn't be hard to find the young angel annoying. He's an unstoppable fireburst of good-natured humor and interest in everything going on around him, and he's all over everything he can be. At first, he and the siblings his age are allowed to roam the planet a bit, Graces singing with delight at everything they see. Rocks! Look, they glitter! Oh, the scum on the water is the best shade of green! But the clouds, look at the shape and the way they move--!

Creation is just that amazing, evidently. Presumably the Father finds them endearing in their innocent delight, but it's not long before they have to be gathered back up into Heaven to be made into soldiers. Some of the Ofanim take to that well enough, but Balthazar's performance is spotty. Fighting seems to go against his grain in some fashion; he doesn't want to hurt anything. But he does have a fascination for Heavenly weaponry. That's a start, at least.
tryingitall: (angelproofing)
Heaven's dungeon is a place not of darkness, but of relentless, merciless light. Light that sears and aches in the eyes of even an angel; light that's heavy and solid, like stones poured over an already-bruised body. No one complains or begs mercy, because it's pointless. Forgiveness is for humans, not the Host. And if the wardens are a little too enthusiastic in their task of meting out divine vengeance...well, they're only following orders.

Balthazar knew all this in theory even before being imprisoned here. It was something vaguely discomforting before, just a scary story. Now he's presented with the reality, and he can't help but wonder why God ever allowed this place to be built.

He supposes it makes about as much sense as Hell. Which is to say, not enough.

There are few enough of them there. He was introduced to Gadreel within the first day. Balthazar's not good at tact, unfortunately; his first greeting was something along the lines of 'so this mess is at least partly your fault'.

But he followed that up with: 'well, shit happens. never mind.' And he hasn't mentioned it since.

Today, the wardens aren't doing their usual vicious jobs. Something's up, and tension is high all around. Meekly and quietly, Balthazar creeps through space to Gadreel's side, wings held low and submissive for the benefit of the limited number of guards still present. What he says as he settles in, though, is: "Hello, Brother! I'm bored. Have you ever played twenty questions?"
tryingitall: (chinhands)
|| Player Information ||
Name: Bridgie
Personal Journal: [personal profile] wugglyump I rarely, if ever, update this journal, but I can be contacted through it.
Time zone: EST
Contact: howe.jenniferl@gmail and I have an AIM at jen_howe but I am more easily contacted via plurk: [ profile] wugglyump
Current Characters: None!

Read more... )
tryingitall: (looking down)
I'm always just a tiny bit worried about being judged for my musical choices, since I'm not really one of the cool kids. But I decided to share anyway. This is the music that feeds my portrayal of Balthazar, for the most part. I've linked youtube vids in case anyone wants a listen, but they're not necessarily the official videos, so just ignore the visuals.

Read more... )
tryingitall: (2014)
The hardest thing about playing the angel is the way he treads the love-hate line with everyone else in his canon. It makes every first time thread I have with any castmate delicate, because I need A) to keep Balthazar in character and B) not kill the interaction by means of him being a total jackass. Now, my inclination in RP is to always err on the side of the character being too nice, because…that’s me and I’m a people pleaser. But you can only go so far that way with Balthazar before he turns into a big drunken woobie who’s mooning around after Cas, and I’d be doing a disservice to the character if I let myself play that (it’d be fun, though).

The fundamental element of Balthazar’s personality that I focus on is his ability to love. Not ‘love’ like flowers and hearts and romance, but love like ‘I think you’re doing literally the dumbest thing you could be doing right now, but I’m with you anyway’. I wish like hell there was more canon of him and Castiel interacting (not to mention Balthazar and ANY OTHER angel), because I’d love to hear the conversation when he and Cas decided to use the Winchesters as a diversion so they could retrieve the Heavenly arsenal. Or when they decided to unsink the Titanic. It’s easy to chalk it all up to Balthazar being a loose cannon (and oh god is he a loose cannon), but somehow I don’t think either of these gambits were completely his idea. In the Titanic episode, especially, he comes off as slightly edgy about the whole thing, both when he talks to the boys and later when he sneaks up behind Atropos. There may not be any rules any more, per se, but there’s still a chance of backlash, and he can see that.

His relationship with Castiel is really just a slightly more intense version of the way he relates to all his family members. They’re important by virtue of being his siblings; the most important things he can imagine. In an ideal world, there would be balance in the host and the knowledge that they’re all loved and needed and connected, but the more Heaven breaks down, the more disconnected Balthazar becomes from his siblings, and his Father by extension. Seeing them leave was heartbreaking (and he resents Gabriel and Anna, in particular, for deserting him, although he may never say it in so many words), but watching the ones that stay start killing one another is even worse. So by the time we see him all disco-ed up in The Third Man, he’s really hit the skids. Imagine the mix of courage and despair it must take to strike out at the last living and free archangel, and then multiply it by the guts it would take to burn a bridge back to Heaven by hurting an older brother he genuinely loves.

When I first started playing him, the romantic in me really wanted to chalk everything he does up to him just being in love with Castiel, and I do still play him as attached to Cas particularly, in a way that really isn’t healthy for either of them, but especially for Balthazar. But I’ve come to feel there’s more going on in Balthazar’s head than just a crush on another angel. Certainly there would have been opportunities before Castiel left Heaven, if Balthazar wanted him, to speak up and try to do a little cloud-seeding. I don’t think it’s that simple. I think Cas is his closest sibling, that he admires his courage and devotion to a higher ideal, and because of that he’s come to see him as a microcosm of what the Heavenly family could be/should be. I think this is also why he chose Cas over Raphael. Every slight from Cas hurts because Balthazar feels it as a rejection from the entire Host, and he can deal with that and move on; the Host is flawed, he knows that by now.

He’s furious when Castiel supports the Winchesters’ right to question Balthazar over his freedom from a blatant threat of painful fiery death, but when he gets out of that, he’s happy to focus his anger on Sam and Dean, not on Castiel. He makes excuses for Cas because he’s his brother.

The break happens in ‘Let it Bleed’. That conversation in the woods is deceptively simple but by the end of it, Castiel has implicitly threatened to kill his brother, and Balthazar knows he’s killed Rachel, thus proving Castiel is no better than the rest of the Host. Maybe in some ways he’s even more flawed.

Destiny and free will are pointless illusions, and all that’s left for God’s angels is extinction by their own hands. He has yet to see this conclusion disproven. He has yet to be shown that he’s anything more than disposable to his siblings, in fact, but he keeps coming back for more, because while he was able to leave Heaven physically, he can’t actually let it go.
tryingitall: (2014)
In most cases, Balthazar will ask IC if he wants to teleport or heal a character. The exception would be in the case of extreme emergency, or if a character is unconscious. If you want him to be unable to do either of these to your character by default, please let me know.

Other potential points of contention:

Telekinesis Balthazar may seek to move both objects and people with his angelic power. May he move your character around if the occasion calls for it?

Telepathy Balthazar can read the minds of baseline humans and likely a variety of supernatural humanoids, as well. Normally I only have him pick up on basic emotional states, unless the character is thinking very loudly, but he can also carry on conversations and look for specific memories. May he do this to your character?

Knowledge May he recognize what type of being or creature your character is (if not baseline human)?
tryingitall: (drinkin')
[Player information]
Player Name: Bridgie
Age: 33
Other characters played at Cape Kore: None

[Character information]
Name: Balthazar
Canon: Supernatural
Canon Point: At the end of 6.21 “Let it Bleed”
Age: 500 million, give or take a few epochs.

Read more... )

Anything Else?


tryingitall: (hands)
It was supposed to be a candlelight vigil, every flame lit in honor of a boy with no face and a planted gun. Aaron was unimpressed. His parents were crying nonstop, but that had become the norm at home, too. Everyone kept saying how sorry they were, how they knew Chris was a good kid and now he was surely in a better place, and how someday the truth would come out. Maybe it wouldn’t be until Judgment Day, but sooner or later the murderers would pay.

“They had to identify him with dental records,” he told one stranger. “He was in the morgue for a week before they notified my Dad.”

Read more... )


IC Contact

Feb. 5th, 2013 11:17 am
tryingitall: (Default)

You've reached the voice mail box for the angel Balthazar.  Sorry I missed your call!
Well... actually, that depends who you are.  I may have deliberately missed your call, in which case I won't get back to you unless you have a really good reason I should make the attempt.  So, I advise you to make a list of potential bribes when you leave your message.  If I want to talk to you, I won't need them.


tryingitall: (Default)

Comments, questions, or concerns about my portrayal of Balthazar may be addressed here.
Anon is enabled, and comments are screened. Go to!
tryingitall: (ooc freely)
Age: Balthazar was created shortly before the Cambrian Explosion, only a couple million years after Castiel. This makes him one of the younger angels, but not the youngest. (My rationale here is that if Cas saw life first emerging from the primordial ocean-"Don't step on that fish!"-he'd have to be 500 million years old or so, not that I've done much research into Paleontology.).

Vessel: His vessel's name was Levi Gilman, and he was an artist, born circa 1865 and picked up somewhere around 1912. He was alone, disillusioned, and an atheist, and also not a particularly successful artist (though Balthazar maintains he had remarkable talent).


He has a thing for cheesecake. It's not quite as pronounced as Castiel's hamburger addiction, but given the opportunity, he will order and eat it, sometimes in amounts no human could without getting sick.

He also likes alcohol (obviously) and especially the higher-end stuff.

Secretly, he finds children sweet and endearing. He'd be the worst guardian ever, because any kid in his care will get no ground rules and all the sugar they can handle, but he likes them. In fact, he was quite fond of Aaron Birch, even though he was willing to buy his soul away. His moral compass is skewed that way.

Probably, he got the name 'I. P. Freely' from a child's joke book. Good thing. Otherwise the officer who saved the Titanic (until the timeline was reset properly) might have been named Mike Hunt.

And, yes, he genuinely thinks puns are funny.
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