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[tryingitall]

A whirlwind romance is a wonderful thing. For Balthazar, there are multiple dimensions of whirlwind. Lucifer and his passion is the main focus, but being accepted and treated as a friend by so many of the angels of his court--not to mention his children--has been almost as compelling. It's all very beautiful, and so much of what Balthazar always hungered for in his own family, that it feels like the proverbial dream come true.

Which is why part of him is waiting for the other shoe to drop, for some sort of catch to show up (as if being aware that Lucifer is going to have a final show-down with God some day wasn't enough of a catch? but Balthazar is able to compartmentalize). Perhaps Moloch sensed this and found the gap in the angel's armor he was looking for, or perhaps it's Balthazar's own uncertainty catching up to him.

Either way, they need to discuss practicalities sooner or later, and not merely live in the joy of mutual emotions.

Lucifer will find his angel on the terrace of the apartment, with a cup of espresso and, incongruously, a bag of gummi worms, nibbling one of the latter slowly. He lights up when Lucifer arrives, smiling, eyes crinkling at the corners, and holds out the bag.

"The red and yellow-ish ones are the best," he tells him.

Comments

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer, as he had mentioned, takes some time to get to the apartment. The other angels had to be herded, like drunk cats, back to the villa. Though rowdy they were not aggressive. However, after the night he had, this was better safe than sorry.

Lucifer, when he lands on the balcony in a burst of fire, is in his usual black and white but there's blood on his shirt, not much and not his. He hadn't considered changing or remembered to. His mind was more focused on coming to see Balthazar. He didn't know exactly what he wanted to talk about but he had some very clear ideas given the last text. Likely, they were things that were on his mind as well.

Lucifer's exhausted from earlier events but the smile quickly appears when he sees his angel light up. He was still taken off guard by a celestial angel that was so eager for and joyous about his presence. His eyes fall to the bag but he gives Balthazar a kiss in greeting first; warm and on the lips. Then he takes one of the gummy worms.

"I prefer the clear and red ones." He's calm but preparing for some very serious topics to come up. Especially, if the situation was as he expected, brought on by Moloch's distinct brand of prodding and pushing at someone.

[tryingitall]

Balthazar, ultimately, is only about 75% sure he knows what he's doing here. While that makes him occasionally insecure, it also makes the emotions inherent in their relationship feel more intense, new and bright and extraordinary to him. Metaphorically speaking, his heart still skips a beat when Lucifer steps into the room, and he loves that.

He returns the kiss warmly and without hesitation. There are things on his mind, but whatever is giving him worries or misgivings, it's not making him rethink his own feelings or the bond they share. No...this is real. Maybe they're being a bit reckless, maybe Moloch has some kind of point somewhere under all the angst and bitterness, but the implication that he's merely a novelty to Lucifer is just...wrong. All he has to do is touch the other angel to know that.

He chuckles softly at Lucifer's apparently previously established preference in gummy worms. "I love a man who knows what he wants," he says.

Reaching up, he brushes his fingertips over the bloodstain on Lucifer's shirt, cleaning and restoring the fabric with a flicker of celestial energy. Wouldn't want that to stain.

"So," he says, moving over to make space for Lucifer next to him on the lounge. "Moloch. He keeps hinting that I'm a summer thing for you, and I'm aware he's just looking to prod at my abandonment issues. I know what this is, you and me. Every time you look at me, it's clear."

He reaches for his hands. "But he's right about one thing, and it's that I'm way over my head as far as the politics of your world and your court. And I...can't pretend that's not what I wanted, but if I'm going to be your partner, your king, and not a mere bedwarmer, I've got to be involved. And the sooner I understand everything, the better."

"I need you to teach me what I need to know."

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer accepted this was reckless from the start, probably because he was aware of the consequences he would endure. He never cared much for consequences, or more appropriately weathered them without much complaint. Many of the things he had feared were now in the past, washed away by understanding or his sheer stubborn refusal to bend to anyone else's will.

It was past the point of no return for Lucifer. This one angel was on his mind constantly, even if it was just a whisper in the background behind duties and demands on his person and time. Balthazar was always there in his thoughts. This was his partner and though it frightened the fallen angel to consider it, there may never be space for another. Even if the unthinkable happened and he was lost for some reason, a very concrete feeling weighed on his heart that he'd never cared like this before and could not envision it with anyone else.

"Is that a love of arrogance or that you know you are what I want?" Serious conversations or not, he's not about to pass up an opportunity to flirt. It's one of the many things he can't resist around this angel.

He falls silent to listen. It is reasonable, and probably well overdue, everything that Balthazar is asking. Still Lucifer sighs heavily but takes his partner's hands, holding tightly. It takes a moment to center himself as his mind swims in the request.

"You are my equal." Lucifer says first while still grappling with enormity of the request. "I would spare you the unwanted involvement if I could."

He pauses again "There are billions of years of politics. I am not sure what you will think important. Where do you want me to start?"

[tryingitall]

This is all very new to Balthazar. The idea that he could have a love, and keep it, is extraordinary, and he has nothing to compare it to in his history. He doesn't especially want to think about other flings he's had, himself; isn't even interested in sleeping with anyone else just now--that might change eventually as he gets more comfortable in this relationship, and he's not trying to tie Lucifer down, but there's just no appeal in it of late. This is home, and he doesn't need anything further right now.

He chuckles at Lucifer's retort. "Probably both. Listen, if you're not careful here, I'll make you do the Lady-and-the-Tramp thing with me with a gummy worm."

The conversation is more important, though. "I thought," he says slowly, softly, "that that was what I wanted. No involvement, no responsibility. But that's not fair to them, is it? Moloch clearly doesn't trust a celestial angel in your midst, and that makes perfect sense knowing your history. I feel fortunate that so many of the rest have welcomed me. But where one angel has an opinion, I'm sure others do. If I'm with you, I have to be with you."

He worries his lip. "Maybe--I hope--that won't involve fights to the death with other angels, and honestly I'm not all that excited to shank God, either, but if you want me to be your equal, they need to know I'm on their side. I can be a weaponsmith, a medic, a comforter, a support. Maybe even a diplomat, but not if I don't know what I'm doing."

"I'm not sure that's what he was getting at, Moloch, calling me your toy, but if I'm not making myself useful, just hanging around for the fun parts of being with you, it's a valid complaint."

"Oh, but don't look at me like that." His fingers curl around Lucifer's, holding onto his hands in return. "I'm not asking for the entire history of Chaos in one night, that would be mad. I just wanted you to know I'm ready to begin."

"...but perhaps you could fill me in a bit more on the feathery little edgelord's history since I've brought him up in the first place?"

[the_rebel_son]

If either of them voiced it, they would find they were on the same page. Dorian had burned Lucifer emotionally and brought about some very important pieces of knowledge about himself. There was an emptiness in Balthazar's absence that Lucifer hadn't expected. It made the idea of being with anyone alone feel wrong, emotionally. The fallen angel had taken several steps back sexually and re-evaluate. Perhaps in Balthazar's company he'd be interested, but a fling alone was completely off the table, now and perhaps into eternity.

Lucifer grinned brightly. "If you want a kiss, you do not have to make excuses to get one."

Lucifer settles in to listen. He knows just by the tone that there will be a lot said and he has no intention of interrupting until his partner is done.

He takes everything in and waits until Balthazar asks a question to respond with anything. "Moloch is not what you think."

He says first and then backtracks to some other points. "I do not want you to take part in our war. You are too much of a target for the entire host and God. However, maybe you could start by sitting in on our parliament meetings? Now that there is a space for that here in the Nexus it will be easier for you to attend. It will reinforce your position even if you say nothing and simply observe. It may be a better way for you to understand our politics as well."

In truth, he should have been at them before this but it was only recently that they had perfected the protections needed for Balthazar to safely enter Chaos. Then there is the topic of Moloch. Lucifer needs time to collect his thoughts before speaking.

"Of all of us Moloch has been cursed the most by God. He did not have a chance, even in Heaven, and it is the reason I watch over him and weather his behavior."

Lucifer adjusts his hands, lacing fingers as his expression falters.

"Moloch was created after Belial, second of the archangels, but he was made the angel of sacrifice, martyrdom, despair, and sorrow. He did not fit in Heaven and was shunned. I do not know why but during the Fall when we were being judged Moloch stabbed God in the back. He does not speak of it but God was ruthless to him. When he was cast out God ripped out his hope and turned his love to self loathing. His curse was furthered by requiring him to eat living flesh to survive. I think God hoped he would destroy us from the inside out."

Lucifer despaired over Moloch's plight. "In some ways, he wants to die and cannot. He knows what it is to be an angel and knows God never gave him that brightness. He was never loved by God either, at least it did not seem so. I am the closest thing he has to someone who will care for him, it has always been that way, even in heaven."

[tryingitall]

For all that he doesn’t want to battle, Balthazar finds himself a little ruffled at the declaration, Lucifer’s determination that he not fight in their war. He folds his arms across his chest, tugging his blazer closer, giving a small, thoughtful frown. “I don’t have to battle the host to take part. I can operate as a medic or weaponsmith from behind the lines. You can’t shelter me forever.”

But those details aren’t really what he was asking about, and he nods at the offer to sit in and observe their parliament. “Yes, I think I had better. You don’t operate like the Host as I’m used to it. That’s not really a surprise, we were never a democracy, but just watching the protocol as it happens is going to be a new experience for me.”

Angels that talk back to their superiors? Questions and doubts freely voiced? He can’t wait to see this.

When Lucifer begins to explain about Moloch, he settles again, restlessness leaving his body. He wasn’t entirely wrong, he thinks, in his initial analysis of the fallen angel at the Christmas party. Someone’s done a number on him. He just didn’t realize it was done so long ago.

“Does he expect you to turn on him, too? Is that why he’s so bloody contentious?”

That would make Balthazar’s arrival intolerable, wouldn’t it? A potential catalyst to turn Lucifer against him utterly. Unendurable—or else an opportunity to prompt a fight that might finally kill him.

Good thing the Rit Zien never got their claws into Balthazar, because that is exactly the kind of pain that would make their sense of mercy go haywire.

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer sighs at the sudden stubbornness and seeming flip of Balthazar's opinion. "I am not even sure how long you and Levi could survive in Chaos though I have experimented with a human recently."

That wasn't the only reason and he goes on. "You do not understand our war. Maybe you consider it sheltering but we are not fighting battles as a normal war between angels. It is attrition, and God himself attempts to breakdown our door. I had to tear out Michael's throat to distract Him and drive Him back just before the holidays or God may have broke into Chaos."

It's Lucifer's turn to frown. "If an actual war breaks out there will be no one to heal because we will either be back in the fire or destroyed. I am not strong enough yet to face an open war so I keep their attention fixed on me, and subvert God's power among his own angels while I wait."

He lets that explanation stand unless Balthazar wants more information. It is better to focus on things that can be done. "You should sit in one within Chaos with all the angels. When you are ready we can see if the wards I used to protect the human from Chaos will work for you and Levi."

Lucifer can't help but think that it will do Balthazar good to see how many angels there are and how they interact as a people instead of the few that visit the Nexus. There's a long silence after the questions about Moloch. With the other angel there were no easy answers. Everything was twists and turns, as convoluted as how he spoke.

"Yes, and no." Lucifer shakes his head. "He is both hopeless and fearless, full of hatred and feelings of betrayal. He pulls at people, unravels them from their weak points if he finds them. Behind all the deception he's honest and will figt for the fallen until death if he has to. You're new, and my partner. I'm sorry you have to endure his attention."