tryingitall: (wingies)
Character Information:
Application for the Tartarus Experiment
Application for Cape Kore

Permissions for what can be done to him.
Permissions for what he can do to others.
I welcome questions and PMs, if anything isn't clear!

How's my Driving?

IC Contact Post

Additional ramblings on headcanon can be found HERE, HERE, HERE, and HERE, because I talk too much.

Shipping and smut permissions/preferences may be found here.
tryingitall: (looking down)
I'm always just a tiny bit worried about being judged for my musical choices, since I'm not really one of the cool kids. But I decided to share anyway. This is the music that feeds my portrayal of Balthazar, for the most part. I've linked youtube vids in case anyone wants a listen, but they're not necessarily the official videos, so just ignore the visuals.

Read more... )
tryingitall: (2014)
The hardest thing about playing the angel is the way he treads the love-hate line with everyone else in his canon. It makes every first time thread I have with any castmate delicate, because I need A) to keep Balthazar in character and B) not kill the interaction by means of him being a total jackass. Now, my inclination in RP is to always err on the side of the character being too nice, because…that’s me and I’m a people pleaser. But you can only go so far that way with Balthazar before he turns into a big drunken woobie who’s mooning around after Cas, and I’d be doing a disservice to the character if I let myself play that (it’d be fun, though).

The fundamental element of Balthazar’s personality that I focus on is his ability to love. Not ‘love’ like flowers and hearts and romance, but love like ‘I think you’re doing literally the dumbest thing you could be doing right now, but I’m with you anyway’. I wish like hell there was more canon of him and Castiel interacting (not to mention Balthazar and ANY OTHER angel), because I’d love to hear the conversation when he and Cas decided to use the Winchesters as a diversion so they could retrieve the Heavenly arsenal. Or when they decided to unsink the Titanic. It’s easy to chalk it all up to Balthazar being a loose cannon (and oh god is he a loose cannon), but somehow I don’t think either of these gambits were completely his idea. In the Titanic episode, especially, he comes off as slightly edgy about the whole thing, both when he talks to the boys and later when he sneaks up behind Atropos. There may not be any rules any more, per se, but there’s still a chance of backlash, and he can see that.

His relationship with Castiel is really just a slightly more intense version of the way he relates to all his family members. They’re important by virtue of being his siblings; the most important things he can imagine. In an ideal world, there would be balance in the host and the knowledge that they’re all loved and needed and connected, but the more Heaven breaks down, the more disconnected Balthazar becomes from his siblings, and his Father by extension. Seeing them leave was heartbreaking (and he resents Gabriel and Anna, in particular, for deserting him, although he may never say it in so many words), but watching the ones that stay start killing one another is even worse. So by the time we see him all disco-ed up in The Third Man, he’s really hit the skids. Imagine the mix of courage and despair it must take to strike out at the last living and free archangel, and then multiply it by the guts it would take to burn a bridge back to Heaven by hurting an older brother he genuinely loves.

When I first started playing him, the romantic in me really wanted to chalk everything he does up to him just being in love with Castiel, and I do still play him as attached to Cas particularly, in a way that really isn’t healthy for either of them, but especially for Balthazar. But I’ve come to feel there’s more going on in Balthazar’s head than just a crush on another angel. Certainly there would have been opportunities before Castiel left Heaven, if Balthazar wanted him, to speak up and try to do a little cloud-seeding. I don’t think it’s that simple. I think Cas is his closest sibling, that he admires his courage and devotion to a higher ideal, and because of that he’s come to see him as a microcosm of what the Heavenly family could be/should be. I think this is also why he chose Cas over Raphael. Every slight from Cas hurts because Balthazar feels it as a rejection from the entire Host, and he can deal with that and move on; the Host is flawed, he knows that by now.

He’s furious when Castiel supports the Winchesters’ right to question Balthazar over his freedom from a blatant threat of painful fiery death, but when he gets out of that, he’s happy to focus his anger on Sam and Dean, not on Castiel. He makes excuses for Cas because he’s his brother.

The break happens in ‘Let it Bleed’. That conversation in the woods is deceptively simple but by the end of it, Castiel has implicitly threatened to kill his brother, and Balthazar knows he’s killed Rachel, thus proving Castiel is no better than the rest of the Host. Maybe in some ways he’s even more flawed.

Destiny and free will are pointless illusions, and all that’s left for God’s angels is extinction by their own hands. He has yet to see this conclusion disproven. He has yet to be shown that he’s anything more than disposable to his siblings, in fact, but he keeps coming back for more, because while he was able to leave Heaven physically, he can’t actually let it go.
tryingitall: (Default)

Comments, questions, or concerns about my portrayal of Balthazar may be addressed here.
Anon is enabled, and comments are screened. Go to!
tryingitall: (ooc freely)
Age: Balthazar was created shortly before the Cambrian Explosion, only a couple million years after Castiel. This makes him one of the younger angels, but not the youngest. (My rationale here is that if Cas saw life first emerging from the primordial ocean-"Don't step on that fish!"-he'd have to be 500 million years old or so, not that I've done much research into Paleontology.).

Vessel: His vessel's name was Levi Gilman, and he was an artist, born circa 1865 and picked up somewhere around 1912. He was alone, disillusioned, and an atheist, and also not a particularly successful artist (though Balthazar maintains he had remarkable talent).


He has a thing for cheesecake. It's not quite as pronounced as Castiel's hamburger addiction, but given the opportunity, he will order and eat it, sometimes in amounts no human could without getting sick.

He also likes alcohol (obviously) and especially the higher-end stuff.

Secretly, he finds children sweet and endearing. He'd be the worst guardian ever, because any kid in his care will get no ground rules and all the sugar they can handle, but he likes them. In fact, he was quite fond of Aaron Birch, even though he was willing to buy his soul away. His moral compass is skewed that way.

Probably, he got the name 'I. P. Freely' from a child's joke book. Good thing. Otherwise the officer who saved the Titanic (until the timeline was reset properly) might have been named Mike Hunt.

And, yes, he genuinely thinks puns are funny.
tryingitall: (Default)
TBH: The mun is no Biblical scholar, but did attend several years of Sunday School in a Methodist church before running off to join the Unitarians.

So, I think most people familiar with angelic mythology and apocryphal Judeo-Christian...whatever, know that the name 'Michael' means 'Who is like God?'. Most of the other Biblical and apocryphal angelic names have similar structure, with the 'El' part signifying God, or the power of God or a god.

Not all the angels in SPN have the same type of name, but many do. Balthazar does not. His name is also Biblical, but comes from the name of the last king of Babylon (also Belshatzzar or Bel-sarra-usur), who sees a mysterious disembodied hand writing on a wall and has the writing interpreted by the prophet Daniel (spoiler: it does not turn out to be good news).

Balthazar's name, however, is a different type of theophory, using 'Ba'al' instead of the root 'El'. In much of the Old Testament, Ba'al is used to refer to a different and competing god, rather than the God we think of today as the Judeo-Christian Creator, however, in its most basic form the name Ba'al means lord or master, and most of the name origin sites I have found translate the entire moniker as 'Lord/Master protect the King'.

It's not a bad name, really, but in the light of Biblical context, it's not an especially auspicious one, either.
tryingitall: (Default)
In the interest of full disclosure, I'm attracted to many and varied ships in the SPN fandom, but in the case of this particular character I can't help but read a heavy attachment to Castiel into his actions in canon. I can see this as one-sided or solely platonic, but I can't not see it. So I do have a bit of Calthazar bias. This does not mean I'm only looking for interaction with Castiel with this character, or only romance/smut, or even only SPN-fandom interaction. I love crossovers and AUs, so just hit me up with any idea you have and I'll give it a try. Much like the character, I'm open minded that way.

That having been said, these are the in-character biases you're likely to encounter with various characters, unless we have some prior arrangement between muns:

My assumption is that Castiel is actually the slightly older one of the two of them. He was higher-ranking, as well, until his demotion. He was not Balthazar's direct-line superior, but they were in the same garrison, and Balthazar both worked with him and possibly took orders from him once or twice. They were able to interact some socially and get the measure of each other, and Balthazar was intrigued and a little amused by Castiel's blend of sincerity and social awkwardness.
After the aborted Apocalypse and their reintroduction to one another on earth, Balthazar broke his cover, stood up to an archangel (the only free and living archangel left, in fact), handed over all his favorite toys (an insanely powerful heavenly arsenal), and took orders from Castiel, even taking some blame and diverting attention for some of the resultant shenanigans. Was he trying to preserve Free Will? Partly. Partly he just wanted to save the life of the friend he had fought with for so many thousands of years.

They were clearly in the same garrison, and it's probable she was his direct-line superior, if several levels above him, which would have meant they worked closely with one another. Maybe they spoke about their doubts and frustrations, maybe not. He would have tried to speak up for her when she was brought back to Heaven for trial, if he had the opportunity, and he grieved her death deeply.

For all his swagger, Balthazar is terrified of Raphael. Archangels can be merciless. In a way, he pities him, too, though. The last living and free archangel. It must be painful.

I imagine Balthazar having a severe case of hero-worship, or possibly the angelic equivalent of a puppy-love crush, on Gabriel, who may or may not have been aware the other angel even existed except as a name in the mass of big and little brothers bickering in Heaven. There are some similarities between their methods of escaping their obligations. Perhaps Balthazar took a page from Gabriel's book.

Other angels in general
In canon, Balthazar is never seen drawing his sword against another angel. He destroys the vessels of Raphael and one of his followers, but even when he encounters Virgil, he'd rather flee than fight. Partly this may be awareness of his own limitations, but I tend to think he has warm feelings for his siblings and just doesn't want to fight them.

He would like to never encounter Lucifer. In a sense he understands his frustration with God and with humanity, but he considers him an enemy.

Demons in general
Under controlled circumstances, he might willingly bang one or two, but he's also still content to brutally kill them if he has to.

Abrasive, irritating, pain in the ass and not especially bright. Castiel obviously has a strong attachment to him, though, and that both confuses and pisses off Balthazar. Why would an angel choose a human over a brother? What do these monkeys have that he doesn't?
Except of course Dean and Balthazar have some distinct similarities: both are happy to pursue pleasure, and both keep a defensive facade. They may be more alike than either wants to admit.

More or less the same as Dean, except there's the unresolved matter of Sam being in Balthazar's debt. Just because his advice on scarring his vessel didn't work out for him doesn't mean he gets a pass on that.
There are parallels between Sam and Balthazar, as well. Both run when confronted with a family situation they can't handle psychologically.

Humans in general
For all that he calls humans 'hairless apes' and worse, the dichotomy of what they are as a group versus what an individual is capable of fascinates him. Ask him what he thinks of humans as a whole, and you'll get a disparaging answer. Ask him what he thinks of one individual, and what you get back will be vastly different. They are little universes of light and dark and ick and glory unto themselves.
Also, they make awesome drugs and are good for orgies.


Jun. 3rd, 2012 01:07 pm
tryingitall: (Default)

This is the permissions list for OOC (out of character), activity.
Answer the following questions with "yes" or "no", as well as additional information if desired.

Backtagging: Yes. I tend to keep on for weeks, if necessary. If I drop a thread, chances are I'm busy OOC or have missed a notification, rather than the thrill being gone or something.
Threadhopping: Please ask first, unless in a meme designed for it.
Fourthwalling: Usually I dislike it, but this particular character can probably handle fourthwalling and canon puncturing without losing coherency, so I'm going to offer a tentative 'yes'.
Offensive subjects (elaborate): The mun is difficult to trigger, but going easy with animal abuse, rape, domestic violence, and suicide is appreciated. If a thread goes too grimdark, I'll make OOC contact to notify the other mun that I'm uncomfortable.

This is the permissions list for IC (in-character), activity.
Answer the following questions with "yes" or "no", as well as additional information if desired. With IC permissions, it's a good idea to elaborate on what other players can expect from your character if they choose to do any of the following:

Hugging this character: By all means!
Kissing this character: Sure, but he may cop a feel.
Flirting with this character: Absolutely!
Fighting with this character: I prefer OOC contact, but this is usually fine.
Injuring this character (include limits and severity): He won't be pleased, but he's pretty sturdy. Go ahead.
Killing this character: Only if you're Castiel. ;) Seriously, though, ask first if you want this kind of plot.
Using telepathy/mind reading abilities on this character: Not recommended if you're human. He's not a high-level angel, but he is still an angel, and this might be tantamount to looking at his true form. Collateral damage would be likely. Higher level supernatural beings might be able to, but I'd prefer OOC discussion first. Characters that can communicate telepathically are welcome to do so with him.

Warnings: Discussion of drug and alcohol use is likely with this character, and he's very sexually experimental. If any of that is a trigger, please let me know and I can tone it down. Due to the nature of his canon, some of his character traits, background, and point of view might be viewed as sacreligious. If this is a problem for you as a mun, please just avoid him.

Get your own copy of the IC/OOC Permissions meme!


tryingitall: (Default)
The Angel Balthazar

September 2015

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