waiting in the wings (for Gadreel)

[tryingitall]

Heaven's dungeon is a place not of darkness, but of relentless, merciless light. Light that sears and aches in the eyes of even an angel; light that's heavy and solid, like stones poured over an already-bruised body. No one complains or begs mercy, because it's pointless. Forgiveness is for humans, not the Host. And if the wardens are a little too enthusiastic in their task of meting out divine vengeance...well, they're only following orders.

Balthazar knew all this in theory even before being imprisoned here. It was something vaguely discomforting before, just a scary story. Now he's presented with the reality, and he can't help but wonder why God ever allowed this place to be built.

He supposes it makes about as much sense as Hell. Which is to say, not enough.

There are few enough of them there. He was introduced to Gadreel within the first day. Balthazar's not good at tact, unfortunately; his first greeting was something along the lines of 'so this mess is at least partly your fault'.

But he followed that up with: 'well, shit happens. never mind.' And he hasn't mentioned it since.

Today, the wardens aren't doing their usual vicious jobs. Something's up, and tension is high all around. Meekly and quietly, Balthazar creeps through space to Gadreel's side, wings held low and submissive for the benefit of the limited number of guards still present. What he says as he settles in, though, is: "Hello, Brother! I'm bored. Have you ever played twenty questions?"

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[redeemedhimself]

Balthazar fits perfectly against him and Gadreel tucks him in as he slides an arm around his waist. It's different than twining grace, but it is still a comfort, still pleasant despite their somewhat bleak chances at the moment. Weariness is already threatening to overtake, his mortal body demanding rest and the soothing warmth of Balthazar tucked against him.

Gadreel turns to rest his cheek in his hair. "You and me, until the end." A promise he would never break, a brother he will not fail.

"We will rest for now, and begin our search for Castiel as soon as we are able." Together.

[tryingitall]

Balthazar's grip on his brother tightens subtly. This is a promise they would never be permitted to make, as angels in good standing. Obedient angels commit to the Divine Will, or at worst the good of the Host, not to another individual. Maybe Balthazar's more broken and willful than he thought, because the promise Gadreel has just made him sounds like everything he ever wanted, without knowing it.

Which is why he can reciprocate easily, wordlessly committing himself to a brother he barely knew up until a few short months ago. Fingers locking in Gadreel's vessel's clothing, he curls close enough that barely a breath could pass between them, and nods.

It's enough. And he'll be silent for a while, letting himself recover from the fall and hoping Gadreel can do the same.

Night falls, and there are distant sounds of marauding creatures, either low-level demons or humans far gone to the Croatoan virus. Nothing comes to their hiding place, though, and by the time dawn comes, with a light rain, Balthazar is feeling a bit more together. He sits up without letting go of Gadreel's jacket, weighing options.

He should go look around, see what they can turn up that's useful. But that would mean moving away from the warmth and comfort of bodily contact.

[redeemedhimself]

The promise would have sentenced them to the prisons all over again - to agree to stay together, come what may. Not to follow orders or obey, but a promise made to one another. Gadreel will not leave Balthazar and will not fail him. As they lay together, huddled in the growing dark, he turns his head towards the warm hair of his brother's vessel and closes his eyes.

Sleep.. is an unsettling experience to say the least. But it leaves his vessel time to heal, his grace time to recover from the fall and by the time Balthazar stirs against him, his eyes flicker open.

He doesn't want to let go, doesn't want to give up any of the contact shared between them, but they do need to prepare, to gather supplies and protect themselves. A soft, sleepy sound as he shifts against him. "We should gather what may still remain."

[tryingitall]

Balthazar has never slept before. It is a strange experience, like a half of a skip through time, but as he wakes he realizes he feels better. Good, even, considering the circumstances. Probably part of that is the fact that he's remained warm and safe in his brother's arms.

He's certainly far too sentimental, reluctant to move away. It wouldn't be so bad to spend the rest of their time like this, surely? Except they do still have other family out there, maybe in need of help, and while he'd certainly prefer they die together eventually, Balthazar concludes that he doesn't want that day to be today.

"We should," he answers with a sigh.

Sitting up creates space between them, which is unpleasant. Balthazar frowns faintly, then leans in for one last grasp at contentment before their work begins. This time, his lips brush Gadreel's in a kiss that's almost chaste, but full of emotion. "Do you feel stronger for the rest? I believe I do."

[redeemedhimself]

There is a brief, irrational desire to pull Balthazar in after such a gentle display of affection, to return the kiss and never let him go. But they have work to do, so he simply leans in to kiss him in return. "I do. The rest was helpful."

He is sure that the contact was part of the reason he'd even managed to rest. There had been little contact in prison and he was finding that touch, human touch, was just as soothing as tangling grace with an angel. With his brother.

"I will look to the left, if you take the right. We may be able to work faster and cover more ground." The store was vast and while Gadreel understood little of it, he could still recognize what would make serviceable supplies. Warm clothing. Weapons.

[tryingitall]

Irrational, or merely instinctual? Balthazar finds himself wishing they had time for a bit more kissing, as well, but it's probably not worth the risk of getting killed by demons while they dally. They can explore the possibilities later, if they find somewhere safer.

Reluctantly, but with determination, Balthazar rises and stretches, offering Gadreel a hand up. "Sounds fair. Try to stay within earshot, though; we can't be sure there's no danger in here, and we'll both have a better chance if we stand back to back against any trouble."

Sorry for the delay - RL has been swamping me lately. :/

[redeemedhimself]

They can find time for more intimate explorations later, Gadreel is certain of that. Every touch is a reassurance in a world swiftly collapsing around them. Creation was falling, but it didn't matter. They were free and they would stand together for as long as they could. Free.

He accepts the hand up, stretching out his vessel with a quiet grunt. "I will gather what supplies I can. See if you can locate any weapons. Or the food we may require." Because food was something he had never experienced and sending him after it might result in jars of capers, pancake mix and cajun seasoning.

likewise, tbh. New job. So take your time, I'll be here. :)

[tryingitall]

Balthazar's most recent earthly experience was long enough ago that some packaging may baffle him, too. But he ought to be able to figure things out well enough to refrain from making cajun caper pancakes, at least. He smiles and squeezes Gadreel's hand. "Will do. Back here in forty-five minutes."

They may not be leaving the building, but it's large enough a space that he wants to take precautions. Clambering around the customer service desk, he scans the room again. "...I just hope the place is structurally sound. But we'll see."

[redeemedhimself]

"Be careful." And he hazards another bit of contact, reaching to squeeze his hand again. Perhaps if they can find a safer place to stay for the evening, they can explore such contact further. But there were pressing matters to deal with first. Shelter. Food. Weapons.

It takes just over fifty minutes to retrieve the weapons he could find. The section said Sporting Goods and while he didn't understand what it meant, Gadreel had been able to retrieve two light metal bats, hunting knives and two sidearms he'd been able to pull from a safe in the back. He had also found warm clothes and packs to carry whatever Balthazar had located.

A good start. To whatever came next.

[tryingitall]

"Right back at you, love," he smiles at Gadreel fleetingly, then heads off in his appointed direction.

The first thing he comes to is the pharmacy section, and it's more than a little bewildering. There are plenty of medications lying around untouched, but only a few are names he recognizes from his last experience among humans. Penicillin he knows, and various pain relievers, and he manages to gather some gauze and iodine, stuffing it all into a pillowcase from the housewares section.

The food is sadly picked over. He's not entirely surprised to see it. He and Gadreel weren't the first ones to take shelter here, after all. Still, most of what's been taken was canned and dried and processed, the easiest to prepare and carry. It doesn't take him too long to scrape together some bagged lentils, rice, beans, cornmeal, even a bit of powdered milk and a jar of molasses. They'll have to experiment to figure out how to make use of them, but it's something.

He grabs a set of kitchen knives on the way back to Gadreel, and a kettle. Potential makeshift weapons, but also tools they're likely to need.

"This is going to be awkward to carry," he says as he sets his load down by the other angel's feet. "Should we make a travois or something? There's a garden section, there are probably stakes and tarps there."

[redeemedhimself]

The endearment, no matter how casual, gets a small smile in return. Yes, he would risk it all to spend whatever time they have left together with Balthazar. "I found these," he indicated the backpacks, already packed with the spare clothes, warm blankets and sleeping bags. Tents might take a little longer for them to sort out, but between them if it was needed, they could find some way to make them work.

"It should help to distribute the load while we carry the rest." They had sheltered at the store long enough, to stay longer would only hazard further attention that they did not need. "With any luck we should make good time before it grows too dark."

The travois might slow them down, but for now it was better to take more than leave behind what they might need. Once they get clear of the store and further away from where they landed, perhaps then they could spare the time to both rest and go through the scavenged provisions.

[tryingitall]

Balthazar nods in response, hastening to shift his load into equal portions, and to shoulder one of the packs Gadreel has put together. "We ought to be able to manage on sheer strength for a bit. Our Graces shouldn't drain away all at once."

He slips the kitchen knives in Gadreel's pack, keeping the kettle himself. "Do you know anything about hunting? Or wild plants? Might come in handy. I remember you can eat dandelions and nettles and berries, but I don't know about anything else."

Once they're loaded up, he heads for the entrance, intending to exit first if only to take the brunt of the risk. The lot outside is quiet, the roads empty and starting to get overgrown with weeds and vines. Their store is located by a highway, but there's little else close by save woods.