Beside the Still Waters (Locked to the_rebel_son)

[tryingitall]

The river is wide and placid, water a deep greenish-brown from a distance, clearer the closer you get, with patches of whitewater toward the center. The rocks Balthazar has set them on are a small island, more than enough space to house dozens of sunbathers, and surrounded by water weeds on all sides. There are chalk drawings on one of the boulders. Looks like a crude mermaid, a few birds, and several games of tic-tac-toe.

Balthazar looks around to make sure they're alone, and then takes Lucifer's hand and holds it against his chest, looking up into his face. "This should be safer."

His wings are still flared, in that quantum state that hides them from human eyes, but visible to Lucifer once more. If anything, they look slightly fluffier. That's either a response to the energy or some kind of semi-physical reaction to arousal. He's blushing a little, too.

Comments

[tryingitall]

Other angels might at least attempt a veneer of righteousness and judgment here--you do the crime, you do the time?--but Balthazar is a long way past that, and all he can feel is compassion. Maybe that's one of the things that makes him different. He favors mercy over justice, and he favors love over mercy. He adjusts carefully when Lucifer moves, not surprised to feel how strong he is, to be lifted and moved effortlessly. He puts both arms around his shoulders and embraces him.

If he minds that possessive connotation, his butterfly, he's not saying so. Actually, it's alluring, the idea of being wanted with such determination.

He studies the scars somberly, missing none of them, and takes Lucifer's hand to kiss the marks on his wrist. "I'm just...an ordinary Ofan, you know. Nothing special, except for having walked out of Heaven."

[the_rebel_son]

If he's actively seeking scars he could easily feel the ones on Lucifer's lower back where his third pair of wings were ripped out too. Those scars were ragged compared to the others, one on each side just below the bottom of the ribs.

Lucifer smiled, gazing at Balthazar like he was insane as he spoke. He even laughs quietly in disbelief. "I am a pariah in my own Universe. The angels would see me bound in fire to suffer for eternity, many of the Fallen confront me to usurp the throne, or seek to bind me themselves as an offering to Heaven in attempt to return."

The flightiness was still inside, like panic. "I have faced God himself as He condemned me to this existence, and yet, It is an ordinary, nothing special Ofan who feels dangerous."

He wanted to stay, knew he had to return to his kingdom, and accepted the outcome of not walking away. As he watches Balthazar, Lucifer knows that he wouldn't change his choices, and that was terrifying.

[tryingitall]

In the end, Balthazar decides, it's not up to him to say who's right and who's wrong, between Lucifer and God. He's bound to be biased in the former's favor right now, given that he's being cuddled in his arms, that he's being so loving and so attentive, whereas he doubts his own Father has a clue he exists. But there are so many differences between worlds, and anyway, what the hell does one little angel know, except that he loves his family. Which now includes this Lucifer.

Righteous judgment can go fuck right off, he thinks. Warmth, love, compassion, is what all angels need--and deserve.

His fingers brush over those scars, and he shudders inside. Awful, awful. Balthazar was trained as a combat medic for a while, for his garrison. The Rit Zien would have had him, actually, but he knew he could never do their duty, to mercy-kill an angel too far gone to save. He can imagine what the wounds that left these scars were like, and the pain that must have come with them.

His wings flare briefly only to circle around Lucifer's in a secondary embrace.

Balthazar was fully aware, when they got started with this, that it wasn't a casual hookup or a one-night (day?) stand, but it seems they've both stumbled into something bigger than they expected. "I'm not dangerous," he says with a strained laugh, an attempt to lighten the mood. "It's just that everyone else is dangerous in my immediate vicinity."

"I...don't know what to do about it," he admits softly. "Anything I could do to try to help you would probably just get me killed. All I can do is promise to be here when you want me."

"I mean, there's considerable danger in my world, as well. Raphael isn't happy with me at all, and his loyalists won't pull their blows, and there's always a chance the entire planet will go tits-up, and I'm trying to keep Castiel from getting himself killed. But we're feeling the same thing, you and I. I don't even have to ask, because as close as we've just been, I know. I want to see it through."

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer relaxed into the way they just seemed to fall together but still shuddered when the scars on his back were touched. He often forgot the missing wings but the contact brought the loss to the forefront. And with it the memory of the pain and disgrace.

It was reckless, incredibly dangerous, what he was doing but the moment this angel had cuddled up to his arm he had thrown all sense of caution to the wayside. "I am a king." He stated it but he felt the fear rising again. ".. and I do not want to leave you. It makes you dangerous."

But all of that is forgotten at the mention of someone injuring Balthazar. Lucifer's presence lights up with pure wrath and pride. He doesn't say anything but the emotion is rather plain in the shift of his essence. He would tear anyone, anything, apart that even dared to harm him. In his own world Raphael was among the seraphim, even should the one in Balthazar's world be the same Lucifer knew he would hunt them down and destroy them, it would be inevitable and unstoppable. And this realization made the angel in his arms even more dangerous.

Despite the wrath he is dealing with, in addition to the fear and affection and sense of pain to come, he manages to jest. "You have found somewhere to go if your creation ends."

There's relief in the admission that he will stay but it amplifies the concern. Lucifer was going to war, he knew it for certain. There would be no avoiding it. He laid his head against the angel laughing because that was the only way to deal with his mental state. The words come flirtatious and just a bit teasing. "Are you looking to become the Devil's consort? An unexpected title for a celestial angel."

[tryingitall]

Balthazar has never seen an angel with lost wings before. He saw Anna, though, Annabiel, his superior officer, who cut out her own Grace to escape detection when she left Heaven. The determination it must have taken to cause herself that kind of pain still disturbs him to think about, as does the way she died.

She was a kind of canary in a mineshaft, the first strong hint that something was not right with the rank-and-file angels. They had known Gabe and Lucifer were lost before. Logically it was only a matter of time before the rest of them started to hurt from the loss, but Anna was the first to show it.

He listens to Lucifer, at a loss for what to tell him. He's got no clue. He's been in command of mission teams before, but that's nothing like kingship. He wouldn't even begin to know how to offer advice. The surge of emotion is almost a relief, although the depth of wrath Lucifer feels is terrifying. "Oh! Oh, ssh, no, he hasn't actually done anything...it's all right."

He tucks his head against Lucifer's shoulder. "He's a basket case, honestly. I feel sorry for him. But the last time I ran into him, I came out of it much better, so don't, don't worry."

It's nice to be that important to him, but the last thing Balthazar wants is for Lucifer to start smiting other angels because of him. He doesn't want anyone else dead, even angels who would see him killed. Which is exactly why he's not with Castiel's forces fighting now.

He refused. Anything else Cas needs from him, he'll do, but he won't kill other angels.

"Consort," he laughs softly. "That's so formal! Maybe I've watched too many human films, as well; it sounds rather Gothic, like I should be dressed in black lace and dark lipstick and hovering at your side."

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer would worry. He couldn't stop it but at least the commentary on Raphael simmered the wrath down to a slow, quiet burn. He just holds on a little tighter, a little more protectively.

He knew what happened when he experienced loss. In the two times it had occurred it shook the foundations of creation and order. He couldn't even imagine what would happen to another creation, unprepared for a Lucifer with the kind of power he had, if he walked into it with the wrath needed to destroy another seraphim.

The laughter brings him out of all the dark thoughts for the moment. His emotions are leveling out to a calm and coquettish demeanor. "I am anachronistic, lounging naked with a glass of wine, or scotch, would be more appreciated."

[tryingitall]

"I stole a number of weapons when I left Heaven," Balthazar confesses, half proud, half sheepish. "One of them was the crystal that transformed Lot's wife way back when. It turned his vessel to salt. Frankly, I think I did the human soul a favor in the process."

And it didn't actually harm Raphael, just a major inconvenience. He's probably still out for blood, but Balthazar feels his conscience is clear, at least. "If you can't beat him, iodize him, I suppose."

Balthazar hums contentedly at the mental image he conjures up. It sounds very relaxing, naked with alcohol. "That, I can definitely do. Cognac would be my first choice, personally, but scotch is a close second."

He strokes the back of Lucifer's neck idly, relaxing slowly. There's a moment of peaceful quiet, and then he murmurs, "Incidentally, there's another angel I've met here, not from my world. Aziraphale. And his friend Crowley, who happens to be Fallen. Though it sounds like it was a less traumatic process for him than it tends to be in my world, or yours. They're endearing. Will you try not to terrify them, for my sake?"

Okay, that's a tall order. They're both likely to freak out the moment they become aware of any Lucifer in the Nexus, but at least Balthazar can try?

[the_rebel_son]

He can't help but grin at the pride. Lucifer listens to his descriptions, still facinated by the differences in creations. "Only angels bear weapons in my Creation, and each has thier own that is bound to them. So, is our armor. God manifests his punishments from his creative power. He used lightning to strike me down when I wounded Him."

He would remember the preference for drinking. The quiet is welcome, he opens his wings to stretch them. They had been curled around the other angel for so long they felt cramped. Though when they relax again he lays them against Balthazar.

"There is another angel with a Fallen?" Lucifer laughs at the idea, even if it is just friendship. He had a deep appreciation of the lines it crossed, even if they didn't matter here. Maybe here this would be a little less dangerous and out of place than in either of thier own Creations. "I do not go around randomly terrorizing, usually, but I can do nothing for my reputation."

[tryingitall]

"Oh...we have our own blades where I come from, too," he says softly, a little sadly. "Each of us. One of the only ways one of us can be killed, really. It's an extension of our Grace. I don't have armor. I think some of the seraphs do. Castiel does, but his is a little weird in comparison. Non-traditional."

He thinks he could happily live in the shadow of Lucifer's wings. If it can even be called a shadow, bright as they are.

He smiles at the laugh. "Mmhmm. Apparently they've known one another since the Beginning. It developed into friendship somewhere along the way...and if you ask me, it's not going to stop at 'just' friendship, but I thought it might be better I didn't tease them."

"Yes, you don't seem like you're here to hurt or frighten anyone. My world's version of you can't stand humans, but you're far less uptight." There's a smile in his voice.

[the_rebel_son]

"The blades of the Seraphim, and my spear, were forged from the essence of God, so is our armor." Lucifer smiled a bit when he saw the sadness. "Michael and Azrael have both tried to kill me but it was not successful." His hand drifted up to the scars on his shoulder. "Other angels can kill each other with their weapons, but the seraphim are still difficult to destroy."

Lucifer laughed even more when he heard the way Balthazar described the other angels. "Is this a trend when angels and Fallen get together?" It was a jest, sort of. A group of two cases wasn't really a trend but it was curious.

"I ruffled your feathers when you realized who I was." He kissed Balthazar's temple but at the mention of humans his mood dropped, drastically. "I loved Eve too much to hate humanity in general."

The punishment of Eve was one of the few things that Lucifer might say he regretted, if he was capable of regretting anything. There was simply too much history there to feel anything but pain. Still he managed a smile, though some sadness lingered. "Sin and rebellion do not lend themselves to being uptight."

[tryingitall]

"It's dangerous," he says. "We shouldn't be killing one another. Fallen or not. We don't reproduce. There aren't going to be any more of us."

He hesitates a second, and then murmurs, "I'm afraid in my world we're going to end up making ourselves extinct. I can't be a part of that."

But their time together shouldn't be a recounting of fears and melancholy. He glances up into Lucifer's face and gives a small, weak smile that quickly becomes a wider, brighter one. "Darling, you can ruffle my feathers any time. I suppose that's the power of the Nexus, though. Neutral ground, anything can happen."

He responds to that kiss to the temple by sighing contentedly, then tilting his head again to kiss softly along Lucifer's jawline. "I have a few human friends, as well."

And he's glad that won't be a problem.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs gently. "About Eve." That's definitely not something that's a parallel between their worlds, but it's nice to hear him talk about love, even when it's love lost.

[the_rebel_son]

"I have four children, though only two still survive." Lucifer frowned deeply at the whole concept and sighed. "I do not kill angels unless there are no alternatives." Or it was Michael or Abdiel, those two he would gut without thinking. Lucifer, despite all of his wrath, rarely killed anyone. His hate was focused and specific.

At the invitation to ruffle feathers he brushes his fingers through Balthazar's feathers in the same manner someone might ruffle hair. He's still pleasantly shocked by being called darling or love, every time. The King of Hell wasn't often on the receiving end of terms of endearment. He was going to say more but the lips on his skin brought a quiet moan as he turned his neck.

There was another apology and Lucifer still didn't know how to react to them. He imagined that maybe the way those apologies felt was akin to forgiveness, though, God had never offered him forgiveness for any of the trespasses. The best he could imagine as a response is honesty. "She...Eve..." He was trying to formulate how to say what he was thinking. It was painful and left him looking like he might cry. He felt like he would but he had cried all he could over Eve centuries ago. "Everyone reads Genesis, but no one ever questions why Abel was god-fearing and pious, while Cain, the first born of Eve, was rebellious and aggressive."

That was the best way he could say it without becoming an internal wreck again. His children and Eve were one reason he felt so vulnerable and uncertain around this angel. Too much lost to enemies, especially on account of God.

[tryingitall]

Balthazar is willing to accept things are different in the world Lucifer comes from, though he still hates the idea of angels killing angels, no matter what. But at least he's no happier with the idea of Heavenly angels killing Fallen ones. It's all well and good to protect mortals and the planet and all that; he's all for it. Just not at the cost of angelic lives.

But then he's a bit of a hypocrite, too, having more or less handed Castiel half or more of the power he needed to wage his rebellion.

He shivers at the feel of fingers running through his feathers. If the topic of conversation wasn't so sobering, he'd probably very easily get aroused all over again that way. As it is, it still feels distractingly good, and he sighs deeply, nuzzling into Lucifer's shoulder.

What Lucifer tells him then is nothing short of earth-shaking. It can't possibly follow in his own world, but if it did, it would change everything. Cain as the first of the Nephilim?

"I think all of us wonder what it would be like," he says softly, thoughtfully. "To have a biological child. No one admits to that because it's forbidden, but I remember Anna wishing she could have lived on the Earth long enough for children, and I know Castiel worries over the child his human vessel left behind."

"Mine never had children. He was attracted exclusively to men. Which was hard for him in the time and place he lived in. Very hard."

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer leans against Balthazar. Given the topic at hand the closeness is comforting, potentially needed to keep his emotions in control. Even so, there's a clinging aspect to Lucifer's behavior now that they are talking about his family. He wondered if the God of his creation had any influence here? Sure, there was a neutrality pact here but God wasn't known for caring particularly about anything other than what he wanted to do. Lucifer had thought of that a lot, how God, at times, acted worse than Lucifer himself did.

"Eve was still immortal when she carried Cain. I do not think it would happen with a mortal human." He couldn't help but feel a longing for them, especially Eve. "My other children are Seraphim I created, as God creates angels. They are all forbidden, abominations in the eyes of God." He paused trying to keep some semblance of internal order. "Eve suffered greatly at the hands of Adam to protect Cain from death and God saw that I was chained to the Lake of Fire for my transgression. My first child was the angel God demanded I kill. The one He forced me to watch the other angels tear apart when I refused."

Lucifer did not live with a merciful God, or rather it was a God that was merciful to everyone except Lucifer and a few others that seemed beyond His notice or care. He was starting to sink into a depression. Between the memories of God's behavior and the fear over what was happening with Balthazar, he started to feel like he was spiraling into darkness. It wasn't sobs when the tears started. He cried silently, with little physical indication that it was happening other than the bloody tears dripping down on the other angel as he held him.

[tryingitall]

It doesn't matter how ancient or ageless an angel is, how powerful they are, how clever or wise. Hurt is hurt. Just like Balthazar always suspected. He would never have approached his own world's Lucifer with softness, knowing what he did to Gabriel, but he's sure he's wounded, as well.

It seems terribly unfair. Even worse, because there's no sign of anything to remedy it coming any time in the future.

He's afraid of saying anything further, sensing Lucifer's sorrow. He holds onto him gently, stroking his hair and making no objection to the bloody tears. All he's got to give here is compassion, but apparently that's a rare thing for Lucifer to come by.

"Can...can you just stay here?" He asks after a moment, soft and uncertain, fully expecting the answer to be 'no', but needing to ask nonetheless. "I've got an apartment. You're welcome there any time."

[the_rebel_son]

He had not cried, not for centuries. No room existed for that kind of weakness and very few would care if he did. The compassion may have brought the tears but it also brought an irrational hope. When the tears stopped Lucifer pulled away enough to look into Balthazar's eyes, trying desperately to decide what to say. Being asked to stay caused is heart to flutter uncontrollably. He couldn't stay but every part of him wanted to, desperately, to just abandon kingship and stay. The thoughts running through his mind were reckless, impulsive, and potentially detrimental, but that knowledge did nothing to deter them.

"I cannot abandon my throne." A smile was slowly returning. "I do have free time, and my children would benefit from the opportunity to rule under guidance."

Lucifer contemplated this idea and he could possibly get away with it, maybe not all the time but for some of it. The naked angel in his lap made the option hard to ignore. And he would still have to deal with the confrontations he would face walking into Chaos with the energy of an angel in his aura. "There are situations I must address before I could leave Chaos for more than a few days."

This was madness and rebellion. This might be the road to annihilation, but he stopped caring when he had heard the uncertainty in Balthazar's voice. "The offer I made outside the funhouse was sincere. I will stay if you ask me to."

He wasn't just keeping his word. Lucifer was making a choice, potentially a foolish choice, but it was his choice. He wasn't abandoning his throne nor his free will. This would be a treacherous path to walk but what was the worst that would happen? The Fallen try to remove him from the Throne? God and the host come and drag him back to the fire? Those would happen regardless of where he spent his time.

[tryingitall]

"Well, now that I've got your attention I'm a bit hesitant to give it up," Balthazar says, relieved by the smile and looking to encourage it with gentle teasing. "So, be my part time sugar-baby and crash at my apartment whenever you like. Nudity and liquor provided free of charge."

This is more than a hookup or a fling. What exactly it is, and how dangerous it might be to the both of them, remains to be seen. Balthazar is too old and too hungry for the love he's missed out on his whole existence to give a damn about the chance he'll end up a smoking crater. It's worth the risk.

"I want you to come visit me often, and stay as long as you comfortably can."

[the_rebel_son]

The flirtatious grin appeared again as the sorrow passed. Lucifer felt a bit more hopeful about the situation he was getting himself into, getting into with this angel. "You are going to need to invest in a fire extinguisher."

Lucifer laughed a bit, moving his wings so Balthazar could see where he was laying. There are definitely wing shaped scorch marks on the rock. As far as Lucifer could surmise from where his wings had been tucked under the angel.

His Pride and determination was coming back. He would go to war and then come back and cuddle with his angel. It was a dangerous road but knowing the situation was mutual made it easier to bear.

"If I do not come often enough, you can call me. I will come for you anytime." He's serious and sexual, equally. If the angel was going to flirt he was going to as well. Everything was dangerous now and none of that mattered.

[tryingitall]

"Oh, I'm sure the place has a decent sprinkler system," he says, and then laughs at the sight of the scorch marks. "...right, well, fair point. Fireproof sheets will be a necessity. We should definitely do this in a bed next time."

"--oh! Or a hot tub. That's always nice. This was very romantic, but I think we can definitely come up with cushier spots."

If Lucifer's pride is returning, so is Balthazar's mile-wide hedonistic streak. "I'll make sure to stock up on drinks."

He cups the other angel's face in both hands and pulls him into a kiss, abrupt and passionate. No one's ever promised to come back for him.

[the_rebel_son]

"Or up against the wall." Hedonism was definitely a language Lucifer understood, though he had a feeling whatever happened with this angel was going to redefine his sense of what that word meant.

The touch of the angel's lips brought a single ragged breath before Lucifer returned the kiss. The passion was intoxicating. He slid his hands up the angel's back and into the feathers closest to his skin, pulling Balthazar against his body.

Slowly, reluctantly, Lucifer pulls away from the kiss. "If you continue kissing me in this manner I am never going to make it to your bed."

Lucifer could have stayed here on this rock, with this angel, for days, but he was starting to feel an urgent desire to get the confrontations and duties out of the way. To be free of responsibilities, for awhile, so he could properly indulge Balthazar without interruption or distracting from his own thoughts.

[tryingitall]

Oh, Hell, yes. Up against the wall sounds delightful. He gets a vivid mental picture of his own silhouette scorched into the surface of a wall, inside the shape of Lucifer's wings, which is much sexier than it should be.

Nevertheless, he breaks from the kiss when Lucifer pauses, stroking through his hair and smiling. "It's nice to be wanted. I suppose we should get dressed again...shall I show you my apartment?"

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer has that intoxicated grin again. "The feeling is mutual, petaloúdo."

That was definitely sticking as a pet name. It might have anyway but Balthazar's confession of liking it sealed the name firmly in place. Lucifer glanced at the clothes strewn across the rocks and sighed, reluctant to get up but knowing it was necessary.

"I should see where I will be staying." There was a hint of flirting to his tone but also a commitment to the idea. Lucifer was still very confused over his own feelings and what was happening. The fear was gone though when he thought about the situation. The stubborn, rebelliousness had taken hold. He would have his way in his own kingdom or there would be literal Hell to pay.

[tryingitall]

Despite his generally dissipated, too-cool and casual outward attitude, Lucifer will certainly find, it he hasn't realized already, that Balthazar is a pushover for sweet-talk. Any pet name would please him, but one referencing delicate beauty (and/or the ascendancy of the spirit, depending who you ask), is the best possible choice to touch his heart.

He'll need some time to come up with something better for Lucifer than the usual 'darling' and 'love'.

"It's not all that exciting," he says, kissing his cheek, and then disengaging just enough to re-clothe himself with a whoosh of angelic magic, rather than the slow, mortal way. "Yet. I'll see if I can't spruce it up a bit. I wish you could visit my world. It's a disaster right now, but I've got a very nice place outside Monte Carlo and a charming safe house in Bar Harbor."

[the_rebel_son]

Lucifer wasn't one for nicknames or pet names, it was one of the remnants of his old formality, but with Balthazar it seemed the right thing. It revealed a lot about his emotional state though he hadn't thought about that yet.

"You should see where I live." Lucifer had a rare moment of joking about his damnation. He obliged to use magic to redress as well. Fire curling through his wings briefly, as it did whenever his angelic powers surfaced.

"Nothing is impossible." Lucifer smiled though he knew that visiting would probably be even more foolish than what was already going on. His ability to experience hope often lead to more trouble than one would expect from a virtue.

[tryingitall]

Balthazar drops endearments like they're going out of style, but he doesn't always mean them. In this case he does, which is a frightening thing, but easy to rationalize. He doesn't doubt Lucifer's sincerity, so if this goes badly it will be something being the control of either one of them, and given that he suspects his own world is inching closer to Apocalypse rather than further from it, if it does go badly, he's got nothing to lose.

Might as well blow coke and jump on the bed, he told Castiel. Might as well fall in love with another world's Lucifer doesn't have quite the same ring to it, but overall it's a far more positive sentiment.

"Clearly you're correct," he murmurs. "Nothing is impossible, because here we are."

He reaches out to link hands with him. "Flying or walking?"