Balthazar's demeanor softens as Aziraphale speaks of Oscar Wilde. He nods slowly, but with evident complete agreement. It sounds a lot like the way he relates to Levi, in fact. Even where angels and mortals are concerned, like sometimes calls to like. Levi is his True Vessel because they just fit, and if Aziraphale's world required angels to have vessels, perhaps the same would have been true of him and Wilde.
And maybe Oscar Wilde would have been better able to talk sense into him than Balthazar seems to be doing. He sighs. "They get frightened too, you know. Fallen or not. Maybe the Fallen are even more frightened, in a sense, than we can be, because they've been burned, figuratively and literally."
"You've not seen it in Lucifer, of course. I'm not sure he'd thank me for commenting, honestly, but for all his power and cleverness and age and all he's seen, he's shockingly sensitive. Maybe not delicate; I have a feeling he's been broken and pulled himself back together so many times it's old hat to him by now, and that's not frailty. I don't know what it is, but it's not frailty. But he's suffered, and I could hurt him terribly if I tried."
He shakes his head. "It's not my business, I suppose, what you and Crowley do or don't do. I just don't want to see you go through what I've gone through. I've loved a lot of other angels, passionately, even romantically. They've always been the ones who left because Heaven wasn't enough. And I wonder sometimes if I could have prevented that, if I'd been more stubborn, more assertive, more forthcoming and less afraid. The entire fate of my world might have unfolded differently, and maybe not for the better, but I'll never know now."
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branchandroot
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Date: 2019-10-21 08:36 pm (UTC)And maybe Oscar Wilde would have been better able to talk sense into him than Balthazar seems to be doing. He sighs. "They get frightened too, you know. Fallen or not. Maybe the Fallen are even more frightened, in a sense, than we can be, because they've been burned, figuratively and literally."
"You've not seen it in Lucifer, of course. I'm not sure he'd thank me for commenting, honestly, but for all his power and cleverness and age and all he's seen, he's shockingly sensitive. Maybe not delicate; I have a feeling he's been broken and pulled himself back together so many times it's old hat to him by now, and that's not frailty. I don't know what it is, but it's not frailty. But he's suffered, and I could hurt him terribly if I tried."
He shakes his head. "It's not my business, I suppose, what you and Crowley do or don't do. I just don't want to see you go through what I've gone through. I've loved a lot of other angels, passionately, even romantically. They've always been the ones who left because Heaven wasn't enough. And I wonder sometimes if I could have prevented that, if I'd been more stubborn, more assertive, more forthcoming and less afraid. The entire fate of my world might have unfolded differently, and maybe not for the better, but I'll never know now."