In the end, Balthazar decides, it's not up to him to say who's right and who's wrong, between Lucifer and God. He's bound to be biased in the former's favor right now, given that he's being cuddled in his arms, that he's being so loving and so attentive, whereas he doubts his own Father has a clue he exists. But there are so many differences between worlds, and anyway, what the hell does one little angel know, except that he loves his family. Which now includes this Lucifer.
Righteous judgment can go fuck right off, he thinks. Warmth, love, compassion, is what all angels need--and deserve.
His fingers brush over those scars, and he shudders inside. Awful, awful. Balthazar was trained as a combat medic for a while, for his garrison. The Rit Zien would have had him, actually, but he knew he could never do their duty, to mercy-kill an angel too far gone to save. He can imagine what the wounds that left these scars were like, and the pain that must have come with them.
His wings flare briefly only to circle around Lucifer's in a secondary embrace.
Balthazar was fully aware, when they got started with this, that it wasn't a casual hookup or a one-night (day?) stand, but it seems they've both stumbled into something bigger than they expected. "I'm not dangerous," he says with a strained laugh, an attempt to lighten the mood. "It's just that everyone else is dangerous in my immediate vicinity."
"I...don't know what to do about it," he admits softly. "Anything I could do to try to help you would probably just get me killed. All I can do is promise to be here when you want me."
"I mean, there's considerable danger in my world, as well. Raphael isn't happy with me at all, and his loyalists won't pull their blows, and there's always a chance the entire planet will go tits-up, and I'm trying to keep Castiel from getting himself killed. But we're feeling the same thing, you and I. I don't even have to ask, because as close as we've just been, I know. I want to see it through."
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branchandroot
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Date: 2019-08-24 03:52 pm (UTC)Righteous judgment can go fuck right off, he thinks. Warmth, love, compassion, is what all angels need--and deserve.
His fingers brush over those scars, and he shudders inside. Awful, awful. Balthazar was trained as a combat medic for a while, for his garrison. The Rit Zien would have had him, actually, but he knew he could never do their duty, to mercy-kill an angel too far gone to save. He can imagine what the wounds that left these scars were like, and the pain that must have come with them.
His wings flare briefly only to circle around Lucifer's in a secondary embrace.
Balthazar was fully aware, when they got started with this, that it wasn't a casual hookup or a one-night (day?) stand, but it seems they've both stumbled into something bigger than they expected. "I'm not dangerous," he says with a strained laugh, an attempt to lighten the mood. "It's just that everyone else is dangerous in my immediate vicinity."
"I...don't know what to do about it," he admits softly. "Anything I could do to try to help you would probably just get me killed. All I can do is promise to be here when you want me."
"I mean, there's considerable danger in my world, as well. Raphael isn't happy with me at all, and his loyalists won't pull their blows, and there's always a chance the entire planet will go tits-up, and I'm trying to keep Castiel from getting himself killed. But we're feeling the same thing, you and I. I don't even have to ask, because as close as we've just been, I know. I want to see it through."