tryingitall | Vessels and Trueforms

Vessels and Trueforms

Balthazar lands on the terrace, taking the opportunity to set out the decorative baby pumpkins, as well as the larger one, and tracing a light preservation spell over them before heading inside. His Halloween shopping gets set on the kitchen counter, still in the bag. He's pretty casual about his surroundings sometimes, equally at home with tidiness and clutter. He seems to have brought in some additional groceries and drinks today, though, and these are put away in the pantry and refrigerator.

There's apple cider, for one thing, and a couple bottles of a golden-tinted auslese with a cornucopia on the label. He likes sweet wines.

This minimal labor done, he goes into the living room and flops onto the sofa, looking pensive. "Best to do this slowly, I think," he says to Lucifer. "I'll let him take control of the vessel for a bit before trying to separate. To talk to you, perhaps? I think he'll want to."

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"The angels in my heaven are no better, potentially worse." Though Levi is correct, this is not the time for the despair that is celestial angels and heaven.

"I see it." The affection is clear in his voice. "Those qualities are a big part of what attracted me to him when we first met."

Lucifer goes quiet eyes fixed on the man before him but the gaze is gentle and contemplative. Several moments pass before he speaks. "There is no need to apologize, we are here to talk. I do not have your answer to that question, but I have spent billions of years in a prison. I risked torture and death to find a way outside the doors. With that much at stake I have always believed in doing what sets your soul on fire. The rest will fall into place."

Levi smiles at Lucifer. "I'm honestly really glad for him. He gets so broke up about his own brothers and sisters--but I guess you know that. It's nice to see him get to be loved."

There's some sadness in his voice, as well as warmth. Either way, he's genuinely glad for Balthazar.

His expression sobers again as Lucifer looks at him like that, but he doesn't seem intimidated this time. Hard to be scared when he A) wasn't sure he believed in the devil in the first place and B) now that he's face to face with him, he's being gentle and compassionate. He nods at the encouragement, thinking it over.

"Yeah. I mean, I'm a painter. That's never gonna change. Can I ask you something?" He leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees. "You saw the painting of Bart, right? My...my man." My everything.

"Balthazar says his soul's in Heaven. He checked for me and everything. And when I die I'm supposed to go there, too. That's part of the deal, even if he's in trouble, that's not my fault. Only in Heaven, the human souls mostly don't share the same space. They relive their best memories forever, and that's nice and all, but we might not actually be together. I don't guess I'm in a rush to die right now, and it's good to know he's safe and taken care of, but it doesn't seem right. To be apart forever and not even know it."

He wrings his hands a little, between his knees. "Balthazar gets it. He tries not to think about it, but he gets it. But there's nothing he can do, especially now. He'd just get caught if he tried. I'm not asking for a favor or anything. Just advice, I guess."

He wonders if this human, or even Balthazar, understands just how much he's loved. "I think that is one of the benefits to my presence, beyond the obvious. The Fallen Angels I rule are more like him than they are like the angels from his own heaven. I think it lessens the hurt from his own siblings."

"I have seen the painting." Lucifer responds but he's completely unprepared for the rest of what is said. Lucifer's already incredibly pale or he would pale even more. The subject takes him by surprise and the pain is clear in his expression before he can bottle it away. This subject is so close to home, too close maybe. He briefly wishes he had a drink, or something. Lucifer's eyes drop, hand pushing his usual rogue strand of hair out of his face.

"I do not know." It's the only answer he can give. "Most of my lovers have been humans, but my God is not benevolent, at least not to them. Their souls are imprisoned and I hear them calling to me, always, but it is a place I cannot get to. I am not the only one they are separated from though, it is also the souls of their families and friends. They are condemned because I loved them, they loved me, both? All I can do is continue to look until I find a way to get to them."

Lucifer shrugged helplessly. He'd been looking for a way to get to Eve for centuries now. His own situation is blocked by his God, but Levi's... The pain is still there in his expression but deep thought is quickly replacing it. Lucifer, instinctively, puts his hand over Levi's because that is something he would do for Balthazar. It's hard for him to refrain from slipping into the mindset that this is his lover, especially since he can still feel him present even if he is quiet.

"If opportunity arises to retrieve Bart's soul there may be something I can do. It is not a favor, but a gift I would gladly give. You are the one who allowed me to find Balthazar. I do not know if I can ever repay that gratitude, but perhaps giving you the opportunity to be reunited with Bart would be a start."

Balthazar absolutely does not. Levi, on the other hand, grew up with a family. A mother, aunts and uncles, a sister that died young, unfortunately--he never knew his father, but stilln he was surrounded by examples of familial closeness. Balthazar has less of an idea how to be loved than he does how to love, and he doesn't even realize that.

Levi can tell he's brought up something painful at once, but it says a lot to him about Lucifer, the way he reacts. Grief and compassion, not anger at having a soft spot prodded unintentionally. If he had any doubt about this angel being good for Balthazar, it'd be gone now.

He catches his breath raggedly, looking utterly transfixed and empathetic. He doesn't mind being touched, putting his free hand on Lucifer's forearm gently. "I'm sorry," he says. "It's like...sounds like they're prisoners of war, kind of, between you and Heaven. But prisoners of war get to go home once the war is over."

It's the best hope he can offer, since he sure as hell doesn't have the power to make a difference there. It's strange to find something in common with the devil, maybe, but empathy is empathy.

He seems surprised by the thanks, blushing faintly, but his smile is deeply grateful. "I didn't know I was doing anything like that at the time I said yes, but I don't regret it. Especially not now. Thank you."

"We all are." Lucifer adds. "My lovers, the angels I rule, me... we are all prisoners of war and though Balthazar does not like the way it must end, it will end one day." There is the anger, just under the surface, boiling with injustice. Sooner rather than later Heaven would come down. The desire to tear down the throne in Heaven was on his mind more and more often recently. "The only way our war will end is to throw down God into ruin as he tried to do with me."

A faint smile returns to Lucifer's expression, his emotions calmed again. "That is the way of many things that truly matter. The action has consequences that are as beautiful as they are unexpected."

He hasn't pulled away from Levi though, hand still on his. Lucifer can't avoid affection for the man. Not only does he find him devastatingly attractive, but his soft blushing, the worry, and the deep love he bears are endearing. "I will have to speak to Balthazar and many other angels, but if it is in my power I will do what I can."

Sure, Lucifer could crash through the front door of Balthazar's Heaven and take the soul. It was unlikely any could stop him but he's certain Balthazar would not approve, especially if angels ended up injured.

"He might...understand, eventually, if you give him time," Levi says slowly. "Angels where you come from aren't exactly like where he comes from. I mean, obviously. We both know there are some background differences. He thinks of all of them as his siblings, from the archangels on down. Yours aren't like that."

He's quiet a moment, considering, then says, "I don't think he cares that much about your God, honestly. It scares him to hear you talk like that, but it's just because it goes against what he was told for millions of years. And also because it's dangerous for you, of course. I dunno, he'll get over it eventually. Angels like him, they're mostly more resilient than they give themselves credit for, as far as I can tell."

Levi may, in fact, have been more observant from his end of things than Balthazar gives him credit for. The angel has kept him anesthetized, effectively, and often sedated so as to spare him undue pain and confusion, but in a way that's enabled him to adapt to sharing his body with a second presence in a way most vessels don't get to develop. What's the difference between Nephilim and angels perfectly adapted to, and integrated with, their vessels? Not much, most likely, and that potential is there, whether Levi and Balthazar realize it or not.

The human smiles at Lucifer sheepishly and nods. "This is weird for me, you know? I didn't believe in God before and I didn't believe in a Devil, either. Joke's on me, maybe? But I know who my friends are when I see 'em, and I can see what's good for them. I'm glad you found him. He needs you."

And maybe Levi does, too, on some level.

Edited (clarity) 2019-12-03 18:27 (UTC)

"We are very different. I am not sure if Balthazar has explained the differences to you." The memories stirred up by Levi's comments quickly drain the anger away. "I am glad for his views on angels. Our heaven has brotherly connections but we are so fractured that it does not extend to the Fallen, nor from the Fallen to the Heavenly. The fallen, in general, once they settled over his celestial nature, have come to consider him one of our kin."

Balthazar's view on angels was something that Lucifer rarely praised but now he thought maybe he should. It was very important to him, to his happiness.

"I do not doubt his resilience. I am still not sure how I feel about explaining exactly what our war is like. It is something he should not have to think about, despite my involvement and the potential danger. I have not told him, yet, what is occurring."

However, the thoughts though brought a smile and he resolutely shook his head. "Balthazar does not give himself credit for many things. It is perhaps the only thing I find..." Lucifer paused, thoughtful and uncertain what to say. "...it frustrates me."

That was a big admittance for Lucifer. He probably would not be able to say that to Balthazar, despite knowing he could hear, it was easier to say ot with Levi's presence in the forefront.

"It is easier that you did not believe beforehand. I do not have to clash with prior beliefs. It can be challenging to have that discussion and remain on good terms." He hadn't realized he was glad for Levi's atheistic views until that moment when he thought about the ease of conversation. "I am glad that he decided to foolishly startle me. I have changed since we met, for the better I am sure."

"Not directly," Levi says. "But I pick up more things in the background than he thinks I do. It's rough being towed through the world by an immortal being, is the thing. He puts me to sleep a lot so I don't get shell-shocked. But sometimes when I do wake up I can kinda see the memories of what happened, like...like watching a television?"

TV wasn't a thing before he was picked up as a vessel, but he's seen enough to make the metaphorical connection at this point. "Maybe like watching reruns on a television." Shrug.

He's quiet a moment, sorting through Balthazar's thoughts on his own family and on Lucifer's, not sure if he has any insight to offer, or if he should offer it if he does. In the end, he decides to keep his mouth shut for now, but speak up later if the occasion calls for it. When Lucifer mentions his frustration, Levi tilts his head at him thoughtfully, and it's such a Balthazar gesture the lines between angel and vessel almost blur for a moment.

Then the man grins, and it's more like watching someone light up at the opportunity to tease his brother or best friend. "You just haven't hit the right topic to get him started. He's not as down on himself as it sounds like. Ask him about..."

He taps on his knee thoughtfully a second then says, "Ask him about that pocket dimension he built to keep Raphael and Virgil off Castiel's ass. Or about some of the weapons he made. He'll tell you the seraphs gave him the specs, which is true, but he wrote the spells and if you get him talking about those details he'll never stop. He's really good at his Enochian whatsit-stuff--magic, I guess. He knows it, he just got modesty knocked into his head a few too many times."

"Honestly he has some good war stories, too. Fighting with the shedim before the dawn of the human race. And he told me about training on the rings of Saturn with the other Ofanim when we first met, and I swear I could see it in my head. Rings in rings in rings."

Pause.

"Shit, you know, I meant to paint something like that and I never got around to it." Oh, look, his afternoon just got booked! It's like watching a spotlight click on focused on his face. Suddenly he's infused with the itch to paint. "I-if you guys are gonna go...do angel stuff, then I think I'll do some sketching. I'll let him back in, don't worry. He doesn't even have to ask, as far as I'm concerned."

Lucifer listened and could imagine what he meant. "We experience something similar through our telepathic connections. If the memory is intense the experience can be disorienting."

Lucifer sighed, exasperated when Levi starts listing what Balthazar would speak about. "His accomplishments and duties are not what frustrates me. I know he will speak about them with confidence."

And then Lucifer falls silent.It's more than frustration he's feeling and that is clear in his expression even if he's trying to maintain a poker face. Lucifer tries to explain himself but he doesn't have the words, or has them but can't get them out is more apt. The source of the emotions still makes him feel too vulnerable.

"The frustration is more personal." It's the best he can do for now and hopes the human understands.

The change of subject is welcome as it provides an opportunity to force the unpleasant emotions away.

"We did." Lucifer manages a bright smile, a little forced but genuine. " It is easy for angels, or for me after so long existing, to lose track of time. I was going to offer to introduce you to one of my court so you did not have to spend your time alone. Marquis Phenex is an archangel of art and served the angel of art and beauty when we still dwelt in heaven. I believe thier company may be advantageous to both of you."

Lucifer wasn't about to mention the other Angel's attraction to aiding artists who were depressed, lovesick, or suicidal but it seemed like a good choice even without that aspect.

Edited (I can't spell today) 2019-12-03 21:26 (UTC)

Levi looks apologetic, although not at all intimidated by Lucifer's obvious discomfort. That's probably a good sign. Best he not be frightened of Lucifer. "Well. Maybe I should mind my own business, anyway. Let you two work it out."

He'd help if he could, but no matter how closely integrated he and Balthazar have been or might become, it's better to let the two most directly involved talk things over without playing at conflict mediation until asked. He reaches up and gives Lucifer's shoulder a friendly squeeze, anyway, and then sits back, happy to get caught up in the idea of painting.

The offer of company is apparently a huge relief. He takes a breath and nods eagerly. "Yeah, I...don't know if I'll be okay alone just yet. I mean, it's been a while. I was going to ask you to lock up the liquor cabinet. I should be okay with someone else here, though."

He's admittedly curious about Phenex, as well, as soon as Lucifer describes them and their role. "I'd like that. A lot. Thanks."

Lucifer smiles a little and nods. It is definitely a topic that Levi really couldn't do anything for and probably shouldn't be involved in. He's appreciative of the show of comfort though. He was sure the other angel would come around at some point. He was just impatient with the situation because it was painful and riled up his anger sometimes, though not at Balthazar. The anger had a vague 'whomever caused this needs beaten' feel and it was that lack of target that made it worse.

"Phenex will not allow you to do anything harmful. Though fallen, some of us still serve as guardian angels. Phenex is among those who have chosen that path."

"When the time comes I will summon them, provided Balthazar has no qualms about a strange angel being here with you." Lucifer remembered Balthazar being uncomfortable with Azazael just showing up and didn't want that to happen again. It was courtesy and respect for his lover's domain.

Edited 2019-12-04 00:24 (UTC)

There may actually be a select few angels of his own world Balthazar would allow Lucifer to rough up--though he'd be upset if he actually killed them, so it's best not to risk it. Specifically, Michael, Raphael, and the other Lucifer would be more or less fair game, and Michael even more so than the other two.

"I don't think 'fallen' means the same thing to you that it does in his world," Levi comments with a little smile, and nods. There's a moment where he looks like he's listening, and then he laughs and shakes his head.

"He says if I'm going to cavort about the apartment with other angels he wants pictures. I don't think I've cavorted since I was in my twenties. He doesn't mind."

Levi gets up slowly, making sure he's safe to stand on his own--it's been a century since he's tried, after all--and stretches, joints popping. "I think it'd be better if I go on to the studio? Once he leaves me, he can't stay in one place long. He says he'll meet you at the river and you can decide where you're going from there."

"No, I do not think it does." Lucifer confirms.

"Cavorting is a possibility. They do have a weakness for artists." Lucifer laughed quietly. "I would be careful. Phenex has a way of seducing others without trying. They are quite beautiful."

Lucifer didn't say that about many angels, but there was a softness to the other angel that could lure people surely as his charisma could.

"I will meet him as soon as you are settled here, Levi." Lucifer nodded and called to Phenex while he waited for the other two to do whatever was necessary to separate. He could bring his artisan to the studio when they arrived.

"Hey, good news for me, then!" Levi's rakish grin is another place where he and the angel within him blend together. It seems entirely possible Balthazar learned that expression from him in the first place. "Guess if I'm going to cavort with angels at all I may as well set up a dance card and start filling it in. I'll save you a spot. You want a waltz or a two-step?"

He's being silly on purpose, but he hasn't missed the look he's gotten from Lucifer, either. He will always pine for Bart Delaney, but a world where he can paint at leisure and there are beautiful people around him who don't look down on who he is or where he came from is a pretty good best-case scenario.

It'll take work, but he could be happy here.

He slips into the studio confidently--it's set up exactly the way his was, once, chaos with a deceptive hidden order to it. Lucifer will probably feel the shift of energies in the room as Balthazar leaves, and anyone watching would see the sudden upwelling of white-gold light as the angel disentangles himself from Levi's body and departs. For a split second there's a trail of fire in the sky above the building, visible through the terrace window. It's only a glimpse; Lucifer will have to wait until he gets to the river to see the entirety of Balthazar's true shape, but the glow of him is like a miniature sun.

Lucifer grins, impish and matching the playful tone. "I prefer the tango if you are offering."

While Levi and Balthazar take care of themselves, Phenex arrives on the balcony, adding more fire and sparks to all the bright light. He takes a moment to explain the situation before taking them back to the studio.

"Levi?" Lucifer spoke as he came in. An artist would need the warning before a spirit of art joined them. It could be overwhelming.

The angel with him is tall, though not quite as tall as Lucifer, and snow white in eyes, hair and skin. It's the wings though, shifting through colors like a mood ring that was considered the truest beauty of this angel. In the excitement of meeting an artist important to Lucifer the current colors are bright reds, lilacs, and calm pale blues. This angel has a beauty like a classic marble statue, stately and perfect. Phenex is dressed in crimson though whether thier attire is a lose fitting dress or tailored robe it is hard to say. The movement of the angel fit the ambiguity of the dress. Neither wholly female nor male.

"Phenex, this is Levi Gilman." Lucifer made the introduction and the other angel waited politely, though thier smile is bright.

Levi laughs and nods his acceptance, but honestly Lucifer would have to teach him the Tango first.

When the angels come in, Lucifer is likely to notice in short order that the artist looks a bit smaller than he did a couple minutes ago. Smaller, a bit paler, and his hands are no steadier. His body language is the same otherwise, though, and he's carefully going through a set of charcoal sticks, blowing dust off the pieces and shaking it out of the chamois cloth at the bottom of the box. He glances up with a welcoming smile, but his expression shifts when he catches sight of Phenex.

That's probably to be expected. The show of light and color is more than a little engaging, and combined with the general androgynous beauty of the angel's face and body it hits Levi like a freight train. He forgets to breathe for a few seconds, then has a brief coughing fit when he remembers he need to do so, and goes pink. "Ah, s-sorry! I have manners, I swear, I've just forgotten them."

He stands up, trips slightly, catches himself on the edge of the desk, and then, after a breath, manages to master himself once more. There's a second where he's visibly pulling himself together, and then he offers Phenex a handclasp. "Er. Marquis, yes, hello. It's..."

He probably means to say 'nice to meet you' but forgets the words somewhere between brain and mouth. "You're...more than welcome to come in and...I think there's another chair under those blank canvases."

If Phenex is sensitive to the kind of artist Levi is and has long been, they are likely to notice the physical damage to his liver and vascular system caused by drinking, which has been largely mitigated by Balthazar's presence but the scars linger. But there is also a part of his very soul that hungers for and rejoices in beauty, and has ever since he was born. They're likely to get along wonderfully.

Phenex has often seen this response and knows to wait, or be there to catch someone who truly fumbles. Even so, the angel is softly admiring of the impact. The reaction between angel and artist is one that causes Phenex's presence to brighten both visually and spiritually.

"Phenex, or some call me Songbird." There is a glance at Lucifer that suggests he is the origin of the affectionate nickname.

They take Levi's hand and place a kiss on his cheek in greeting. "The pleasure is mine."

With the kiss and thier presence comes an unburdening calm. It is thier effect on one of their own, though how that ability effects an artist differs greatly. They can feel the damage, and like Lucifer have the same inclination to heal the scarring, but that is a discussion for another time. For now, it is time to get to know one another.

The general feeling of being overwhelmed and made silly by the angel's presence lingers, and is mildly embarrassing, but there's a sense of safety even in the awkwardness. If anyone were going to judge him for being clumsy, it's not this angel. A bit like screwing up in front of a trusted teacher. No big deal; no one else would understand a well-meaning mistake so well.

Probably not Lucifer either, honestly. "Phenex," he repeats sheepishly, although Songbird will linger in his brain now. There's a little burst of mental images, the frisson of energy that often precedes a storm of creative output as the idea of birds with snow-white beaks and rainbow wings dances through his head.

The kiss is highly unexpected, but the calm it brings is helpful. There is such a thing as artistic frenzy, and it's likely that without that calming effect, a being like Phenex could spark that by their mere presence. Instead, Levi takes a breath, eyes closing for a moment, and then smiles, visibly recovered.

"You know, I haven't had a chance to sketch in years, but I haven't eaten on my own power in just as long. Do you mind if I make cocoa and cookies? I'll share, of course."

And then they can get down to the business of making art. There's no question in the human's mind that that's on the agenda.

"It's a shame that the king has left. He is a splendid cook." Phenex comments. Lucifer had, indeed, disappeared without warning but once he saw the two were comfortable he felt like a third wheel... and honestly had somewhere he would much rather be. "I do not mind and will join you if you wish."

They are utterly calm and placid, more like how angels are described than Lucifer or the others who were relatively brash, fiery, unpredictable. They moved out of the room but waited in the hall for the human to join them.

"Lucifer mentioned that you are a visual artist. Do you do more than painting and sketching?" No one had to tell Phenex which pieces of art in the studio belonged to Levi. There were marks upon them of their creator that they could trace, feel in the presence of the pieces even if they remained hidden in their safe spaces.

"I think he has a date," Levi comments wryly, although not without a fleeting thought that it's interesting that a king can cook so well.

"Anyway, I used to know my way around a kitchen, but it's been about a century." He approaches slowly, still a little sheepish in the angel's presence, but content to lead the way up the hall and to the kitchen. He knows the layout of this apartment well enough. He's seen it through his own eyes, with Balthazar operating his body, many times.

"I'm mostly a painter," he says, "but I've dabbled in other things. I can carve wood and stone, but I get impatient with it. Clay is better, but sometimes i feel like I need the color to make my brain work right. I was good with glass, believe it or not, but I never had enough space for my own equipment, and working with someone else would've meant making what they told me to make. Couldn't make myself do it."

"I would call it more than a date. Lucifer hasn't let many see him since we fell." Phenex had been lucky enough to see him once when he was speaking to God while he remained in his heavenly splendor. It had nearly taken the angel's sight, but worth it.

The angel followed colors in their wings shifting into yellows with the rising curiosity about the artist. "I don't know how long you have been asleep but there are colored clays now. Perhaps we should venture out to an artists' store while they are away?"

Phenex didn't even know if they were aware of all the current human art supplies. It would be interesting to browse. "I prefer watercolor, chemistry, and gemstones when I have a choice, but I find all of the arts and sciences appealing in their own right."

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Vessels and Trueforms

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